


3am Mcflurries

by spiderbab



Category: DCU (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Drunk Shenanigans, M/M, no one needs that many chicken nuggets, tim is a walking meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:22:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26449987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiderbab/pseuds/spiderbab
Summary: “How many chicken nuggets do you have on hand?” He asked.“We have about 200. Why?”“Good, I’ll take them all."
Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd
Comments: 3
Kudos: 144





	3am Mcflurries

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by a post on textsfromlastnight 8)

In hindsight, going to a McDonald’s at 3am drunk was probably not the _best_ idea that Jason’s ever had but at least they had fun. Or as fun as being only tipsy while a drunk Tim went on a warpath.

It was supposed to be an easy night. They cut patrol short because of the lack of criminal activity and Jason brought up the idea to drink. He expected Tim to turn the offer down but lo and fuckin’ behold, babybird took the offer.

After a trip to the corner store, Jason had two bottles of Jack Daniel’s because he knew where to cross the line. The idea was to have a bottle each, or as much as they could drink. 

Jason was a quarter through and only buzzing as they lounged around Tim’s apartment, watching crime documentaries because what’s hotter than watching an already drunk Tim tearing down the detective’s work. How can the little shit already be drunk? They drank the same amount so far. Oh yeah.. He did recall Tim informing him that he was a light weight because of his size. 

Shortly after Tim was already demanding food, or as he put it ‘I demand sustenance!’. How could he deny him when he put it that way? They exchanged a quick kiss and Tim took another mouth full of the whiskey, completely ignoring the fact that you gotta sip that shit.

McDonald’s was down two blocks so it should have been an easy trip. Go there, get food, go back. The plan was in motion, they got there in one piece. No one died. It was a success, even if Tim was wearing sunglasses at night.

Jason complained about it on the way there and all Tim did was flip him off, like that was the answer to all questions.

The lobby was bright so maybe Tim was onto something with the sunglasses. Why the hell was it so bright? 

“What do you want, babybird,” he asked, leaning down to watch the other.

Tim looked up at the menu and saw his nose scrunch up in thought. “I don’t know..” Jason couldn’t tell which part of the menu he was looking at.

“OH, I want a mcflurry. M&M. Stat.”

“Yes, your majesty,” Jason said, earning a pleased look from the other vigilante.

“How many chicken nuggets do you have on hand?” He asked, approaching the counter, where a bored looking teen stood. The question had the teen raising a brow. 

“Uh.. let me ask,” the cashier went to the back to ask and when he came back, another worker was with him. “We have about 200. Why?” Because apparently they don’t have people coming in to ask the amount of chicken nuggets. Gotta keep them on their toes.

“Good, I’ll take them all,” Jason was already taking out his wallet, and by his wallet he means Tim’s wallet.

The two workers looked a bit shocked but didn’t question it when they saw the credit card. It was rang up. “Anything else?” The teen asked.

Jason turned and looked back to where he last saw Tim and he was gone. Another turn found him trying to do a handstand on one of the chairs.

“Yeah, M&M mcflurry. But don’t make it til the nuggets are done.”

His total was given and Jason swiped the card and when he got the receipt he went over to Tim and shoved the small piece of paper down the other’s shirt. Tim squawked and batted at the hand, reaching his other hand into his shirt to pull out the offending paper, “Fuckin’ rude.”

“Merry Christmas,” Jason simply said, like that would make everything better.

“It’s August, not even close. Hey,” he said, leaning against Jason. “Hey, guess what?”

Jason rolled his eyes and leaned down some since Tim started whispering. “What.”

Tim leaned in more and whispered, “Iridocyclitis.” He couldn’t keep a straight face and wheeze and cackled against Jason’s chest. 

“I’m taking away your internet,” Jason concluded. 

“What! No! You can’t do that! You’re not my dad!” One would think the smaller man would stomp away but Tim didn’t. He remained leaning against the wall that is his boyfriend. 

“Remember that one time you called me daddy?”

“Yeah, one time, sarcastically.” 

“Your order is ready,” was called out from the counter and they both looked over. 

“Jesus Christ, Jason how many did you get?” Tim stared in awe, but noticed the cup of what he could only guess was his glorious mcflurry.

“Guess you’ll just have to count, babybird,” he said, following Tim over. There were at _least_ ten bags full of containers of chicken nuggets. Jason went to grab them, they were even generous enough to have some of them in plastic bags to it was condensed into five larger plastic bags. Good, he wouldn’t have to struggle a lot to wrangle Tim back home.

Of course that was when Tim slammed the mcflurry onto the counter. “YOU MCFUCKED UP.”

“Tim what the fu--” “I WANTED M&M THIS IS OREO.”

The poor teen almost jumped out of his skin and ran over to the mcflurry machine and started to make Tim a new one. 

“Jesus, Tim calm down! It not that big a deal.”

“Not that big..” Tim turned to Jason. “Oreos do not deserve to be in a mcflurry! Who thought that would be a good idea?!” Jason sighed and rolled his eyes, letting Tim go on his pointless rant but he would never say that outloud.

Tim got his new and correct mcflurry and refused to give the other one back.

When they left, Jason looked over to Tim.

“Why did you take the oreo one if you _don’t like oreos in ice cream_?” This kid was incorrigible.

“I’m still going to eat it. Why let it go to waste?”

And Jason just. 

Couldn’t anymore.


End file.
